When did you last make a mistake? Perhaps you said the wrong thing, or just looked foolish. It happens to me all the time. I’ve been the girl bringing a convincing argument to a meeting, unknowingly wearing a cappuccino moustache, or striding confidently from the bathroom at the pub with a long trail of toilet paper dangling from my shoe.
My most recent embarrassing moment happened a few days ago. In the throes of multitasking, I went for a long walk and decided to combine it with some shopping. The most important item on my list was eggs for breakfast the next morning, so I called into our local butcher’s shop. The eggs are displayed on top of the counter and I spotted a dozen eggs as I strode into the shop, still puffing from my walk. A woman was mid-way through her order, working her way through the mince, the chicken breast and the fat sausages. To help pass the time, I inspected the eggs. I peered under the carton to make sure there were no suspicious egg-white splodges. As her order droned on and on, I went through the carton, checking each egg in turn, to make sure there were no pesky cracks in their shells and that none of them were stuck to the bottom. Finally, as her order started to come to a close, I felt very satisfied with the carton of eggs, and when the butcher turned to me I said enthusiastically: “Just the eggs, thanks!”
You could have knocked me over with a feather when he replied, in a strained voice: “This lady has actually already purchased those eggs, and it is my last dozen.”
I took a step back, drew in some air and said hastily to my fellow-shopper: “I’m so sorry, I’ve been feeling your eggs!”
Why did I say that? It made an awkward moment so much more awkward. But, as I’ve learned many times before, once the words are out, you can’t stuff them back in. I settled on a half-dozen eggs the butcher had ‘out the back’ and hastily retreated as the other lady tentatively added the well-fondled eggs to her boot-load of meat.
When I reached the safety of the cool fresh air outside, I giggled so hard that my knees went weak. It was a cleansing laugh, reaching down deep into those places in my heart where guilt and shame tend to lurk. How many times have I fretted and worried about the silly mistakes I’ve made? Some mistakes have had more serious consequences than my egg feeling episode. However, even after the big mistakes, all the fretting and worry have done nothing to help my situation.
And why the need to be perfect? Are perfect people the people we like, or are they the people we find annoying? The people I like best are those who allow their real selves to be seen by others, warts and all, and who are just as comfortable admitting their fears and failures, as they are sharing their victories. Even the most creative, intelligent and inspiring people have their flaws. Last year I stayed in a hotel in Amsterdam around the corner from Vincent Van Gogh’s gallery. His artwork brought me to tears – the vibrant colour, dynamic movement and raw emotion captured on the canvases left me awestruck. Yet here was a man struggling through a violent battle with his own mental health. But rather than diminish his art, his frailty highlighted his incredible talent. His gift was as pure as light, contrasted so starkly against the misery of his human condition. With a back-drop of struggle, pain and heartache, the beauty of the human spirit shines so brightly – a flame so exquisite, yet so easily extinguished.
I have a long history of trying to be perfect. In infants school I was the ‘good girl’ who had the ‘naughty boys’ sit next to me so I could be a redeeming influence. I wasn’t particularly good really, just too shy and unsure of myself to speak up or get into trouble. Many of us strive our whole life to be perfect. I know I have. Trying to balance the healthy desire to do a good job, with the neurotic obsession to never make a mistake can be relentless. I wonder who we are trying to please? Does God only love the perfect, or is the bible full of his efforts to rescue the outcasts, the broken and the lonely? Was it the humble who annoyed Him, or was it the pious and hypocritical ‘perfect’ people – the pharisees who knew everything and did no wrong?
So if you too have days where you make mistakes and don’t quite hit the mark, think yourself lucky. The freedom of learning to live with and laugh at your mistakes can be life-changing. Our flaws are what make us unique and our broken bits may be jagged and unpredictable, but in time we will notice that these uneven surfaces capture and reflect the light so much better than any smooth surface could ever do. With acceptance and time, our wounds are transformed into the very qualities that make us beautiful.
“Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Matthew 9:13
So funny Kerry, just as well you there wasn’t any cracked eggs, you may have got the blame for man handling them or is it woman handling, 🙄 but it’s so True Kerry as you shared, we can never measure up to the worlds idea of perfection only being perfected in God’s Love by the empowering of The Holy Spirit ( see below) and yes we all have weaknesses and shortcomings, some call them warts as you said but God calls them ours planks, that is when we judge others specks.
Oh! yes we do indeed all make mistakes… I remember once going up to a man on the Station whose back was to me and thinking he was a friend, I gave him a big bear hug and said I gocha , Wow when he turned around and I realised it was not my friend, I thought quickly and asked him how his wife and kids were, hoping he had some, he did have a weding ring on and then I asked how things were going with his job, he looked like he worked in a office, he answered both in the afiritive but looked puzzled, like me he didn’t want to admit he didn’t know me, I made a hasty retreat just in case he changed his mind, that was in my sinful days, now I would apologise but only if he had no kids 🙂
Another time when acting in a play called the importance of being Earnest, I was dainty Gwandalan, but when I was making my grand entrance, I slipped on the steps prop and landed at the bottom on my bottom, I said very quickly , I just thought I would drop in, the audience were in stiches but my Drama teacher was not impressed, she was a perfectionist, but a nice one. As you can see Kerry, I sometimes get mental fatitude too 🙄
1 John 4:17-19 Herein is our Love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in Love; but perfect Love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in Love. We Love Him, because He first Loved us.
Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.
Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,
2Timithy 3:17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
Christian Love from both of us – Anne
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Hello Anne, Thank you so much for your response – your stories are hiliarious and I had a great belly laugh – and I LOVED the verses at the end. It is so comforting to know that despite all of our flaws, God accepts us and loves us, and is working away to transform us. The idea of perfection that the world portrays is certainly not worth striving for, but the perfection God offers is SO worth it – and it doesn’t require any striving really, does it, just surrendering to God and His Love, and walking with Him. Thank you for reading – I really enjoy reading your thoughtful comments. Love, Kerry
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Thank you so much for not being perfect, Kerry–“perfect” people creep me out! I have a friend who’s a perfectionist, and I see the vast misery she has caused for herself and those around her. What a burden to try to carry. The people I admire are the ones who can roll with it (like Anne) and move on. The people who make a big deal about others’ mistakes only make it impossible for themselves to recover when they step in a bucket of paint. 🙂
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Thank you Tracy for your kind words, and your right, worldly perfection is the pits, it shows insecurity, I pray for them. As a Christian I try to do my best for The Lord but I know He understands my weaknesses and mistakes and that He has forgiven my sins and empowers me not to sin, so I do not let things worry me like I use too.
As I was writing my comment to Kerry, it got me to wondering, if that poor man is still trying to work out who I am 🙄 I hope he is not a perfectionist, they need to be in control and forgetting things is bad news.
Thanks again and keep rolling if needed 🙂
Christian Love – Anne
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Hi Tracy – Great to hear from you again! Yes perfect people ‘creep me out’ too!! Spending too much time with them is a bit like wearing a straight jacket. Thanks for the reminder about how important it is to treat others with the same measure of grace we would want to receive ourselves. This is an important issue for me – as I’m never sure when I will step in the next bucket of paint!!
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A timely reminder after my first few weeks in a new job where mistakes is what we make the most of! Well – I shouldn’t assume, but I certainly have made a couple of classics! I’ve learned not to wear my tracksuit to work as they are the days where you meet people in uniform. Make sure you read the map properly so you don’t get lost in unfamiliar territory. And make sure you go to the right client’s home! Yes – that one was embarrassing! I certainly don’t have time to be perfect and as I’m getting older I’m more able to laugh about it and share my foibles so others get a chuckle out of my silliness too. These mistakes may as well serve a purpose, I say and those laughs are good for the spirit. x
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Hi Kerry, I would value your prayers for my Mum, she had a stroke and is in a bad way, I Posted on my Blog Freedomborn all the details but you follow my other Blog, which I’m not using at the moment but will again in the future.
I didn’t know your Sister Clynchie had changed her Blog name or does she just use it to comment ? I haven’t received any of her Posts lately or her replies but this was the same with Jo-Anne before I told her but perhaps Clynchie is not Blogging anymore, anyway say Hi for me and please ask her to pray for my Mum too.
Christian Love – Anne.
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Hi Anne, Sorry to hear about your Mum – I will certainly be praying for her. We have also had some heartache this week, with my mother in law passing away on Monday. She was 92 and had a wonderful life, but it is still very sad. Talk soon, Kerry
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Hi Kerry, thanks for your prayers, Mum died when I was in Sydney she was also 92 but there is much to thank God for. I’m sorry you lost someone close to you too, even knowing they are with The Lord, we still miss them but we have Hope that others don’t.
God reassured me as I shared on our Blog that Mum like my Sister Julie is with Him but as yes I do miss her, more so the last few days now that I’m back home and settled again but I’m thankful too that she did not have prolonged suffering and I had a chance to be with her before she died.
Thanks again Kerry – Christian Love Anne
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Wow Kerry, I just made a mistake! your Sister is not Clynchie, her name is Carol, please tell her I’m sorry, you can tell I’m not a perfecionist, I’m always getting names mixed up, people keep changing them with their Blogs but I often can tell from the expression in their writing who they are even though I still forget their name 🙄 but I just keep rolling…………………………
Still no more news about Mum, it’s hard living so far away from her, I will let you know if there is any changes.
Christian Love – Anne
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Where have you been, Kerry? I miss your words of wisdom.
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Thanks Tracy – I’m glad someone has missed me!! I’ve been working too hard & not playing enough – but hopefully I’ll find the opportunity to exercise my creative muscles soon. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂
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