The afternoon is grey and I drive the boys to the shops. I cave in to their pleas for some Pokemon cards, heavy with ‘working in school holidays guilt‘ after leaving them with a friend for the day. I never go to the shops on a Tuesday afternoon and am pleased that it is quiet and there are plenty of parking spots.
I notice the sun is shining now, but I still feel grey. Where has the colour gone? Each step is an effort and my mind is foggy. I can’t remember what it is like to have energy and motivation. The grey is like the mist of a London evening, chilling my lungs as I breathe it in, cold and damp against my skin. I recognise this greyness – the exhaustion, the depression and the burn-out.
I’m praying for help to climb out of this invisible pit, as I take my sons’ hands and enter the shops. I hunt for some change for the Pokemon cards and head for the bread shop. I can’t even think what I need to buy for dinner. I’m longing for a sign, a kind word, or a bolt of lightening from above.
Then I hear a voice, calling my name. A bright, clear and familiar voice. It’s my friend and she is holding a bunch of bright orange flowers toward me and saying something incongruous.
I just bought you flowers. I left work, as I felt the urge to buy you flowers. God told me I had to buy you flowers. And here you are!
I am stunned and feel shaky. I can hardly find the words to thank her. I stare at the vibrant orange of the gerberas and roses, so rich and deep – warm colours which rapidly invade the greyness and send the mist scurrying away. Around me all the colours return – like a black and white movie screen slowly transformed into radiant Technicolor.
I try not to cry as I hug my friend, my face relaxing into a smile. She has to get back to work and I hold the flowers in my arms. The boys and I go to a cafe where I have a warm, comforting cappuccino and we laugh together.
Many years ago, after re-discovering God after a long absence from his presence, I went shopping for a new dress. I had been invited to a wedding, and I had recently lost a lot of weight, and had no idea what would suit me. I asked God to come shopping with me and to tell me which dress to buy. Crazy as that sounds, I set off with complete confidence.
At the first dress shop I found several dresses and tried on the first. It was shorter than I usually wore, shiny black and fitting, with a white spotted collar just off the shoulders, and I wasn’t sure. I asked God what he thought and stepped outside of the cubicle where the mirror was. I heard a booming male voice behind me:
That looks wonderful. You must buy it!
For a moment I thought God had actually spoken out loud, but I turned to see my old Sunday-school teacher, who was waiting for his wife. He smiled widely and continued to tell me how great I looked and urged me to buy the dress. So my decision was made and I had many fantastic evenings in that dress!
Sceptics would say my encounters with God are coincidences and may even suggest that I am naive and even a little mad. Yet I could write pages about similar incidents when I’ve asked for God’s help and he has come through for me, regardless of whether I’m facing terminal illness or the trivialities of everyday life.
My friend who gave me the flowers, and my old Sunday School teacher, are both sensitive and intuitive people. I’m so grateful that my friend listened to God on that grey Tuesday afternoon and brought the colour back into my world. Imagine the impact we could have on one another and on a suffering world if we truly listened to that inner voice, and acted on the promptings in our spirit. Next time you feel the urge to show some kindness, even if it’s slightly outside your comfort zone, take the plunge. You may actually be acting as the hands of God and touching somebody who really needs it.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
I definitely don’t think these are just coincidences. Its very, VERY cute that the Lord bought you flowers and went out shopping with you! I do go out shopping with Him sometimes too.
From your writing and the way God deals with you, I can sense your butterfly like heart, soft and fragile.
Jesus adores you.
God bless
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful and kind comment, Autumn. It’s great to know I’m not the only one to go on such shopping trips. It can be a risk admitting these things to the world at large!
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Truly wonderful and inspirational story Kerry! I loved reading about the flowers and the dress, testaments to how much our caring loving God cares for our every need.
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Thanks Jodie. I’m still reeling with amazement about those flowers – the timing was just so perfect – I thought I would pinch myself and wake up from a dream!! The experience reminded me of how much God’s love & care is demonstrated in the ‘trivial’ parts of life & can so easily be overlooked.
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Funny you should post on this today. I’m still feeling the buzz from an answer to prayer that came in a totally unexpected way, half last night and half this morning. It was an amazing gift for a joyous Easter morning. He is risen indeed!
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That’s fantastic, Tracy – perhaps you’ll write a blog about it too! Happy Easter to you & yours.
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Hi Kerry,
I have been away and just caught up on your last few blog posts. They are beautiful and inspiring. This post in particular about seeing the spiritual in situations that could be otherwise explained away shows the beauty of faith. How it lights up our lives. It is also a wonderful reminder to me at the present moment when my spiritual life feels a bit dry but I am going through the motions anyway. Now I remember why.
Also, I am joining Sally’s latest Friday Creative Flow class starting next week. Would be great to see you there if it suits this time.
love from the other Kerry.
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Hi Kerry – great to hear from you! I understand what you mean about getting a bit dry spiritually – it certainly is a garden you have to constantly water & modern life often doesn’t encourage a lot of spiritual thinking. The thought of going to another of Sally’s groups is very tempting, and I’m wondering about attending just a couple of the classes, if Sally is okay with that… Will see what I can organise. I’m also booked into Patti Miller’s Life Writing Masterclass every Friday during July & August at the Sydney Writer’s Centre at Milsons Point. Why don’t you check this one out as well? Patti’s classes are wonderful too. Love from the other Kerry 🙂
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