It is often when I’m thinking how well my life is going, that something goes terribly wrong. Whether it is my parenting skills, my performance at work, or my health, the moment of self-congratulation so often leads to a painful fall.
One sunny day in a park I watched my mother laugh and slide down a slippery dip with my three-year old son, feeling so grateful that my children could enjoy spending time with such an active grandmother who loved to join in their games. I silently acknowledged this fact, and then only hours later Mum suffered a series of seizures triggered by a brain tumour and her life was never the same again. It was the last time she was able to play in the park with her grandsons.
In my early twenties I was dizzily in love. The day I began reflecting on how fortunate I was to be loved by such a devoted guy, he phoned, sounding strange. When I asked him if something was wrong he didn’t answer. He had met someone else.
The day I stood chopping carrots at my kitchen bench, allowing myself a moment to luxuriate in the bliss of being a mother of two gorgeous babies under two, the telephone rang. It was a doctor telling me I had cancer.
How quickly security can turn to uncertainty. It only takes a moment for the whole landscape of our lives to change, and for fear to step in and extinguish our joy.
In the midst of confronting cancer, and coming face to face with an uncertain future, I had a vision which I will never forget.
I was floating through the clear blue sky under a hot air balloon, brightly coloured with red, yellow and green stripes. Breathing in the fresh air, I admired the magnificent scenery stretching out around me. In the warm stillness, I felt a deep joy. Then without warning the basket cracked and broke away below my left foot and I grasped the basket tightly to avoid falling. I could see the greenery below my feet and a sickening fear set in. As I adjusted to this hole in my basket, it again collapsed under my right foot and I was now doing the splits trying to keep my footing. I tried not to look at the gaping hole beneath me. The basket continued breaking away and soon there was nothing to stand on and I clung on for my life with sweaty hands. My arms couldn’t support my weight and my fingers began slipping. Struggling to hold myself up, my muscles trembled and my strength vanished. With only air beneath my feet, and no more strength to hold on, I let go and waited to plummet to my death.
Then something surprising happened. I felt something strong and warm holding me in the air. Timidly I opened my eyes and saw two large ghostly hands cupped around me, holding me safe and secure. Were they real or imagined? I couldn’t tell. All I knew was these hands held me there and I was safe. They carried me gently to solid earth.
Each day we face uncertainty. As I’ve grown older I’ve realised that loss, rejection and change are inevitable parts of our life. The one thing we can be sure of, is that nothing stays the same forever. All things change. The choice we have is to face these challenges with fear and resistance, or to accept that we are not in control and to surrender to the unknown. I have learnt that no matter how hopeless or frightening my situation may seem, there is always a way through. When all else has failed, I feel those warm hands holding me up, miraculously cradling me with love.
If the bottom is falling out of your basket and you are holding on for dear life, don’t despair. Life can be uncertain and painful, but there are hands there to hold you and stop you from falling. We see the physical world so clearly, but so often we forget about the spiritual world and the hope, strength and wisdom that is hidden there. God’s hands are there for all of us, not just the religious and the perfect. So when it all falls apart, be brave enough to let go and rest in those loving hands. A new day dawns more brightly after the darkest night, and you will find a way through.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley
I will fear no evil, for you are with me… Psalm 23:4
What a wonderful testimony!!!! Thanks for sharing giving us hope and courage not to give up when things go wayyyy south,because we will face days and times like these.But underneath are his everlasting arms “HALLELUJAH” keeping us,and holding us tight until the storm passes.
Love you and I truly enjoyed the read Numbers 6:24 😀 😀
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Thanks for your encouraging words, Pat, and thanks for taking the time to read!
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Many years ago(Like about 30….) I had one of Those dreams, you know the ones, that tell you real things, and it was very like the vision of the balloon basket. I dreamed I was very small and walking along holding the hand of someone very tall, and after a while I wanted to walk alone and let go. Every time I did, I was carried backwards as if on a moving pavement, and a song played in the background(I later heard it for real. Paul Simon’s Slip Slidin’ Away. Never heard it before the dream, I swear). I would be carried away and even if I got back to my feet, I made no progress however fast I tried to walk. Then the tall person would take my hand again and I would walk normally again until the next time I tried to be independent…..
It’s a mark of how powerful the dream was that I remember it this many years later; I was about 14 when I had it.
bless you for the article. Nothing is sure but God’s love.
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How intriguing that we have both dreamt of being held safe in those strong hands. Those dreams never fade, do they? Even when we forget what our old house or old friend looked like – the memory of a special dream remains crystal clear. Yes, Viv, there is much that we don’t understand in this life, but as you say, ‘nothing is sure but God’s love’. Amen to that!
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