Read any women’s magazine in January and you’ll find an array of diets, bikini bodies and exercise regimes. I haven’t bought any of them, nor have I been able to face my bathroom scales. I’ve stuffed my skinny clothes in the back of my wardrobe and I’m regularly reaching for my reliable size 14 comfortable clothes. I’ve been living in fatty-boom-bah land for quite a while now.
In around an hour my bubble of denial will burst when I visit my Naturopath after a 12 month break. I walked out of there feeling slim, energetic and hopeful, and I’m walking back in feeling bloated, sluggish and ashamed. Yet it’s time to return and face the music. The fat lady is about to sing.
My vacation from the battle of the bulge has been a luxury. I’ve sipped fine wines, nibbled cheese and eaten dessert. My visits to the gym have become less frequent and even my walks have dwindled.
I’ve been asking myself how I allowed myself to slip into chubby-land. It started last Christmas with lots of merriment and socializing. At first my party dresses were loose and flowing, but gradually the seams became firmer. February was a month of highs and lows. After a holiday brimming with restaurant meals and treats, we came home to face the heart-breaking loss of Mum after a long battle with cancer. Where others stop eating during times of grief, I ate twice as much. Eating seemed preferable to going mad or dissolving into misery.
Mum was the healthiest woman. Her days began with an hour of TV aerobics, followed by some serious line dancing and then she went for an evening walk. She followed a strict diet where pastry, sugar, alcohol or anything vaguely delicious never touched her lips. She shunned microwaves, mobile phones and any additives or food colourings as they ‘give you cancer’. She died from the most aggressive brain tumour you can get. I threw up my hands and decided I may as well eat, drink and be merry.
I’ve always been fiercely opposed to the idea of conforming to the herd of women striving to be perfect and valuing themselves by the size of their jeans. Surely we women have so much more to offer the world than our bodies. Surely being overweight isn’t the end of the world?
Yet after one scary brush with cancer, I’ve learnt the value of good health. If we lose our health, we lose a whole lot of our lives. After cancer I faced the deterioration of my hip joints and the prospect of no longer being able to walk. Carrying excess weight isn’t a sensible option for me. This year I’m planning an overseas trip and I want to do it feeling fit and strong, not waddling around feeling tired and old.
So I’ll take a deep breath, lift my chin a little higher, stick out my ample chest and head off to face the ‘Moment of Truth’. Please God don’t let me faint or cry when the scales do their little dance and finally settle on a number. Today I will make the most difficult step – admitting that I need some help. Losing weight can be tough. But often the toughest part is taking that first tentative step. So here I go… My first step in the climb over Fatty-Boom-Bah Mountain.
Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me-but I will not be mastered by anything. Corinthians 6:12
After being diagnosed with diabetes nine months ago, I thought all the fun was over. My whole life, I had eaten whatever I wanted (and it showed!) I had tried to do a little better for a while before that, but suddenly I *had* to eat all the right things. And you know, not only did I find that there are some tasty recipes out there for vegetable dishes and other diabetic-friendly foods, but I actually lost twelve pounds without any great ordeal. Agave nectar has been the most wonderful discovery–dessert is possible once again. So, all this to encourage you that dieting doesn’t mean all pleasure must cease. You can do it, Kerry!
Thanks for the vote of confidence Tracy! How wonderful that you’ve been able to deal with your health issues, and lose weight as well! I’m just about to head over for my first ‘weigh-in’ so your comment was well timed. It’s all in the way we perceive a ‘diet’, isn’t it? This week, after three awful days of hunger and headaches, I began to feel fabulous, clear minded and full of energy. There’s certainly something to be said for the old cliche ‘you are what you eat’!